DIY Sweater Dress

Is it just me or are sweater dresses the absolute greatest? They're warm, they're cozy, they are perfect to pair with colourful tights. There is nothing I don't like about them. Oh wait, except that they're expensive as shit. Am I right ladies? So I stopped in at my neighborhood Value Village and did this shit up right.
I went straight to the men's section and started my search for the biggest, longest sweater there. I found two actually. This is just the first of the two. I'll do a proper tutorial for the second one. Here's the before:

Yes, I looked sad on purpose but, you know what? This sweater was pretty sad. So it's justified. But after a little bit of snipping and sewing I ended up with this!

Which I think is a pretty sufficiently adorable dress for the small price of $5 and 3 hours of work. Plus, I got to do another one of my bathroom photo shoots. So that was fun.
If you have some basic sewing experience you can probably figure out what I did but I'll post an in depth tutorial in the next week or so. Basically just look for a high quality material/designer when searching for your sweater and then see how long it is. You could make some pretty cute tunics with this same method. I'll leave you with one more photo of me looking like a real goof. Bathroom photo shoots are the best.

The C.A.T. Sandwich

This is my signature sandwich. I made it up myself and if I owned a cute little lunch place this would be the sandwich people would come for. This has nothing to do with my cat obsession or my pending Crazy Cat Lady-ness, it just happened to be the acronym that came out of it.

This sandwich is made up of Cheddar Avocado and Tofu. Delicious. I put some real effort into this recipe and took step by step pictures. You're welcome.

1. Preparing the tofu

Before frying the tofu, you have to dry that sucker out as much as you can. I cut the block into 1 cm. thick slices and lay them on some paper towel to dry. Sprinkling them with salt helps draw out the water even faster. Allow to dry for approximately 10 minutes. Sometimes I only dry them for 5 minutes because I am impatient and hungry.

2. Seasoning

Now you gotta had some flavour to these mofos because they are bland as hell otherwise. While I'm doing this I heat up a pan and add 1-2 Tbsp of extra virgin olive oil. Now let's get back to them spices. I always add garlic powder, paprika and ancho chili powder. Mostly because that's what I had when I made this up but it really is delicious. I'll add some cumin or herbs de provence if I'm feeling extra zealous. You can kind of wing it here. Once I've sprinkled on and kind of rubbed each of those into the tofu, I add the panko bread crumbs. I  just sprinkle it on and rub it in a bit too. Doing an egg wash would make it easier to get a thick, crunchy coat but ain't nobody got time for that! Unless you do, then go ahead but I quite like it this way.

3. Frying

If you've dried the tofu enough, it's really pretty easy to get those crisp edges. Just fry it for 2-3 minutes (or until brown) on each side on medium heat. Look at these beauties.

4. Putting it all together

While the tofu is frying you can slice up your avocado and cheddar. I like to use an old cheddar but any cheddar will do (old cheddar will do best). I usually have this on a bagel because it stays together a little better than bread, but this sandwich is messy regardless. I put mayo on mine, because I put mayo on everything. HOLYFRIGLOOKATTHISSANDWICH.

Just delicious. It is large and you will be covered in food when you are done with it but you will be satisfied. This is great for a weekend lunch or with some sweet potato fries/potato chips on the side for dinner. I'm not even a vegetarian and I am obsessed with CAT sandwiches. I eat this for dinner at least once a week. I often make this when I'm craving a junk food-y meal. You will come out of eating it looking like an absolute wreck but it is worth it. I promise.

Snacks For Poor People: Baked Potato Chips

Earlier today I decided that tonight would be a night to relax and get some writing done. And then I looked at the TV Guide and noticed that the Billboard Awards were airing later.  I'm obsessed with awards shows. I don't care what the awards are for or if I know any of the nominees. I just love settling in for a good 3 hours of mindless television. Needless to say, I was pretty psyched to watch the BBMA's. I started thinking about all the snacks I was gonna buy for the evening and then I remembered that I have about $70 to my name at the moment. Time to get domestic.
I started looking through my fridge and pantry trying to put a half decent snack together. I was about to settle on Nutella toast (which is a pretty great snack but didn't seem quite special enough for the occasion) and then I remembered the potatoes I bought earlier this week.
I figured it couldn't be too difficult to make potato chips so I looked over a few recipes online and then just winged it. Look at these puppies.

They look pretty perfect, right? That's because they are! I really didn't think they would be but, holy crap, were these delicious. I used just one potato and it made a small portion. Which is kind of a good thing I think because it keeps me from devouring an entire bag of chips.If you wanted an amount comparable to a big bag of chips you'd probably have to use 3-4 large potatoes. Here's the recipe.

1 lg Russet potato (I'm sure any potato will do)
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
Salt/Seasoning Salt
Pepper


1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Slice potato very thinly. Basically as thin as you possibly can.
3. Put oil and potatoes in a bowl and toss. Add Salt and Pepper (or whatever you think would be delicious!) and toss some more.
4. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper and lay potatoes down in a single layer.
5. Bake for 20 minutes, turning the tray half way through baking. If after 20 minutes there are a few that don't seem quite browned enough, simply remove the ones that are done and put the rest back in for 3-5 minutes.
6. When golden (or darker) brown, remove from cookie sheet and let cool on a paper towel. This helps soak up some of the extra grease. Though, overall, they weren't particularly greasy.

It's a super cheap and healthy-ish snack for when you're really craving some delicious sodium. If I had some sour cream or Greek yogurt on hand I probably would've gone so far as to make some dip for them too. But they were delicious on their own. And you can really play around with the flavours. I think I'll make salt and vinegar next and maybe some garlic and parmesan. I also think sweet potato chips with cinnamon and sugar would be wicked good if you have more of a sweet tooth. Anyways, I better get back to this award show. Carly Rae Jepsen's about to do her thing.

Maximum Dress for Maximum Fun (It's a maxi dress)

I made my first maxi dress! I'm pretty excited about it. I saw this awesome tutorial by Sweet Verbena and knew it was time for me to own a dress that goes past my knees. I followed her tutorial pretty closely, except I used rayon in place of jersey. I just couldn't find a jersey that I liked but I fell in love with this mustard yellow, almost brown rayon so I just got that instead and hoped for the best. I'm really happy with the results. And I feel like the fabric choice makes it more versatile if I want to dress it up. Here I am working it on the toilet.

This will definitely help me get through the hot, humid Toronto summer that I despise so much. On days when I simply can't wear pants but also just can't bring myself to shave, this is what I'm wearing. Let's all just pretend that I didn't just make this solely for the purpose of shaving less.

Here's another way to wear it with the sleeves rolled right up. I kind of like this look better. Though I feel like in the first look I look just a little bit like a jedi. Right? No? Okay.

I am just smizing till the cows come home, that's what I'm doing. Oh, and I don't know if you noticed but I've accessorized this look with thick wool socks because it's about 13 degrees in my house and it's a miracle I'm wearing anything but flannel pyjamas. I've also paired it with a skinny brown belt that I believe I got at H&M and a lovely acorn necklace from Bad Sparkle. She's great! You should check out her shop!

Also, I was too lazy to line it so fingers crossed that it's not see through. Make one for yourself! It's basically a big sack with holes cut in it for you arms and head. I know it looks really nice in these pictures but without the belt it's like muumuu city over here. Meaning that anyone can make it. Do it!

A Chaise for my Chat (That's Cat in French)

I had some free time yesterday and a whole bunch of cardboard boxes still hanging around from my move a month and a half ago. So I decided I should make something for my wonderful, lovely Nikki. I put in a Google search of "cardboard cat houses" and here we are. A kitty chaise.

This is something I did. This is something I spent a good 3 hours on. So, that gives you a good window into my life, if you wanted to know more about me.

But seriously, Nikki is loving it. She's lounging all over this chaise. I also put catnip on it for the photo above. That's why she's licking it and looking out of her mind. I decided it needed to be more luxurious and added her favourite purple pillow.

And I have just now realized that my cat has a chaise lounge and I do not. This is the worst. Oh well. If you would like to make your own kitty chaise here's the tutorial that I used. Make it! Your cat will be able to lounge and sleep all day even more than they already do!

Skillet Mac 'n' Cheese

Or as my mom has so cleverly named it "Mary Mac 'n' Cheese". Because my name is Mary McDonald and this is my favourite meal. Yep. Pretty good. I'm not even being sarcastic. I'm pretty impressed with that name. Anyways. Just look at it.

Maybe it doesn't look that pretty but it is amazing. Really. You should make this right now. It's simple and you probably have the ingredients on hand. You're welcome, in advance. 

All of these measurements are approximations. I just do it to taste.

1 Tbsp oil

1 medium onion sliced thinly

2 cups macaroni, cooked

2-3 Tbsp soy sauce (to be honest, I probably use a lot more than that. Whatever. I like sodium.)

1 cup (or more) grated cheddar cheese

Heat a large skillet. Add the oil and onion and sauté 5 minutes. Add cooked macaroni and stir until it is heated thoroughly. Add the grated cheese and soy sauce. Let cheese melt a little on top and then stir through. Serves 4.


This stuff is just cheesy and salty and the best. We didn't name it after me for nothin'.

Popsicles For Breakfast

Well, it's March and apparently that means summer now. The worst. I hate the heat. Knowing that I'm getting even more of it than usual this year is a pretty big bummer. But fortunately, my BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, Meagan, gave me these awesome spaceship popsicle molds for Christmas. So this seemed like the perfect time to break 'em out and put them to use.
I used a Martha Stewart recipe because she is the best. They're pretty much the easiest ever and are actually pretty healthy. So healthy that I ate one for breakfast. What'd you have for breakfast? Eggs? Psshhhht. Lame. Here it is.

And the recipe:
2 cups plain yogurt
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup frozen raspberries

Whisk the yogurt and sugar together in a bowl. Mix 1 cup of the yogurt/sugar mixture with the raspberries and puree in blender. Then just layer the two different mixes in a popsicle mold and freeze. Seriously delicious. And really, it's basically the equivalent of yogurt and berries so I think it is a passable breakfast. At least that's how I'm going to justify it.

From a Dress to a Skirt

This will probably be a short post because I'm going out in about...10 minutes. But I wanted to show you the skirt I made this afternoon and am now wearing out tonight. (Warning: It's a super bad quality photo, remind me to buy a new camera when I'm slightly less poor.)

I just took an old dress which I don't wear anymore for two reasons, a)I've had it since I was 16, and b) it's generally unflattering. But I still liked the fabric which is why I've held onto it for so long. So, I ripped the seam at the waist, and then added a wide elastic for the waistband. Super easy. And now it's a piece of clothing I'll actually wear again and won't just take up space in my closet. Here's a closer shot so you can see the waistband.

Mashed Cauliflower Recipe

First off, I apologize for my lack of posts in over a month. I had a bit of a crafting injury (sore wrist. Convinced I've already got arthritis.) and have been off my crafting game for a little while. Truth be told, my wrist still kind of hurts but the doctor feels that even though I'm in pain, there's probably nothing wrong. Cool. Remind me to see another doctor. Anyways, I've decided to just continue on crafting regardless because I am wildly irresponsible. I will try to post some more crafts soon but for today, a recipe!

Mashed Cauliflower can be a substitute for mashed potatoes if you don't mind that it still obviously tastes like cauliflower. Or it can just be another delicious mushy side dish option. Some people like to say that its a healthy alternative to potatoes but I'm pretty sure the high amount of dairy I add to it completely makes up for any of that. Anyways, here's the recipe.

• 1 head of cauliflower
• 2-3 Tbsp cream cheese/sour cream/butter/any delicious dairy products you have on hand
• 1-2 tsp minced garlic
• (Un)Healthy amount of shredded cheddar cheese
• Salt and pepper to taste

1. First, you need to cook up the cauliflower. I use the whole head and get 3-4 servings. I just break it up into small pieces and boil it in a pot of water but if you want to get fancy, you could steam it. Apparently steaming is fancy in my eyes. Boil/steam cauliflower until it breaks apart very easily with a fork and seems easily mashed. This will take at least 20 minutes. When cooked, drain.
2. Put drained cauliflower back into the pot and mash it into chunky pieces
3. Add all other ingredients in no particular order and mash until a nice chunky but smooth consistency. It won't be the same consistency as mashed potatoes so don't even try.
4. Taste and adjust accordingly. All the amounts are just approximations as I've never actually measured it. If it tastes good, eat it.

And that's it. Mashed cauliflower: The best thing that's happened to you in the last 5 minutes. 

Super Hip Knotted Headband for Fall

I'm really into hats and all kinds of headgear, especially for Fall and Winter. But I can't justify spending money on new hats every year because my old ones are still perfectly fine and keep me warm. I've actually never been a huge headband person because it just seems like a waste. You're losing all your body heat through the top of your head! You've gotta lock that shit down. But a couple weeks ago I was walking to work and really, really wished I had something to cover my ears with as they were freezing but the rest of my head felt pretty comfortable. And that's where the headband comes in. I finally understand.
I think I mostly had a bias against them because in my childhood I always wore them like a regular hair band by bringing it down below my chin and then lifting it back up and pushing all my hair back with it. For some reason, up until about a month ago, I believed this was still the only way you could possibly wear one. Obviously I was wrong, and now I am the proud owner and creator of this little beauty.
I've mostly seen this style on ladies way cooler than me. They've probably moved on by now but I just finally have my cool knotted headband and I'm gonna wear the hell out of it. Or at least on those few days out of the year that you don't need a whole hat but you do need something.
Anyways, I found the pattern here. It is extremely easy and I finished it basically in an afternoon while watching Bridesmaids. The best. I highly recommend making this because all you'll have to buy is 1 skein of yarn. The one I bought was about $3 and I still have almost the entire skein. So essentially this cost me less than a dollar. Mmhmm.

Pad Thai for Poor People who like Thai food

Hey everybody. Haven't posted a single thing in almost two months. Great job on my part. Whatever guys, crafting in the summer kind of sucks. It's just too hot. So get over it.
So, I decided that since I'm terrible I should at least post for you one of the most impressive meals I can make. And I can't make many impressive meals. In fact, pad Thai is the only one. But seriously guys, it is delicious and surprisingly cheap to make. It's actually our go to meal if we have no food in the house (which is often).
So, you are going to need:

• 1/2 package medium rice noodles
• 1/3 cup half full of ketchup, half full of Sriracha Chili Sauce (the stuff that makes everything taste good)
• 1/4 cup fish sauce
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 1/2 cup water
• A pile of sugar (I've never actually measured it. I just measure it to taste. But you will need a lot of it so that the Sriracha doesn't burn your face off. I actually recently found the perfect amount by accidentally spilling a shit ton of sugar in there so...try that.)
• 1 egg
• Some kind of vegetables, I usually have onions and green peppers around so I just use those but if you're not poor you could also use some green onions and bean sprouts. 
• Your choice of chicken, shrimp or tofu
• Crushed peanuts (optional but fantastic)

This makes about 3-4 servings by the way so adjust as you need.

Step 1: Put the noodles in a big bowl and pour super hot water over them. Set aside to soften.

Step 2: Cook your chicken/shrimp/tofu in a bit of oil in your wok. (A deep pan will work too)

Step 3: Add your chopped vegetables to wok and let cook a few minutes.

Step 4: Scramble egg and add to wok. Should be mostly cooked when you add sauce.

Step 5: Mix together ketchup/sriracha, fish sauce, lime juice, water and sugar in a small bowl. Add to wok and allow to heat for a few minutes. It will be very watery but it will all soak into the noodles.

Step 6: Remove the now softened noodles from the water and add to the wok. Now basically just keep cooking it all until the noodles are soft. If you run out of sauce but the noodles are still hard just keep adding water. Keep an eye on this as the noodles will quickly burn.

Step 7: Sprinkle your crushed peanuts on top and some cilantro or lime slices as a garnish if you're really trying to impress somebody. Enjoy!

And there you have it a tasty, seemingly fancy meal that is actually super cheap. I don't have a picture of mine for you because I just devoured it and then thought about posting this recipe but here's a picture of some pad Thai that looks way nicer than mine anyway. Yours won't look this good.

Cat Bagging

This is what I call a cat bag. It's a bag for cats.

My cat, Nikki, loves bags. She can't get enough of them. So I decided I would make a little sack for her and stuff it with plastic bags so she would still get that satisfying crinkly noise while safely playing with something that won't suffocate her. I'm pretty thoughtful.
I used 2 old t-shirts for this and basically just used the entire body of each shirt. One shirt became the lining and the other became the outer layer of the bag. Before stitching it all together, I put 3 of the crinkliest bags I could find in between the 2 layers.
And so a cat bag was born. Nikki seems to like it though she has yet to actually go into the bag. This is probably just because I keep holding it open and trying to force her face into it. Possibly not the most pleasant experience. Whatever.

So far she has mostly been sliding across the floor on it, attacking it and sleeping on it. I'm sure she'll come around.

This whole cupcake thing has really gone too far.

This is gross. Cupcakes baked in eggshells? No one wants this.
I was already annoyed that everyone seems to think they can become a baker now because they've watched Cupcake Wars a few times but this is too much. Just stop.

No more weird, gross cupcakes. No more.

Red Velvet Cookies

"Oh my god." - Mary McDonald immediately after biting into one of these delicious little creations.

Yes, that is a Red Velvet cookie sandwich with cream cheese icing in the middle. Too good to be true. But it is true! It's right here! I'm eating one as I type this!
These really are just incredibly delicious. The cookies are quite cake-y giving it more of a whoopie pie feel. Which is obviously great.
I used this recipe from The Velveteen Baker, a young lady who bakes nothing but several variations on red velvet. Some might call it God's work. I would. I made it all from scratch except for the icing. I went the Duncan Hines route with that 'cause I'm a G.D. lazy S.O.B.
I don't know what it is about red velvet that makes it so delicious since it is just chocolate cake died red. But something in that dye just makes it taste a million times better. Some people fear so much dye in their food and I dislike these people. This beautiful cake will not hurt you, at the worst it will turn your poop red (and that's just kind of fun, right?).
So, here you go, one last look before they're gone. I'm eating all of these tonight.

Homemade Iced Tea Without Ice (Not Recommended)

Let me first say, that you should really confirm that you have ice before you start making iced tea. However, I did not follow this first step so it took me a good hour and a half to get pretty cold tea. Which was moderately refreshing. Seriously, go check your ice tray right now. If it's not full, fill it. I don't care if you plan on making anything with ice anytime soon. Just fill it.You will love yourself later when it's 37 degrees outside and your neighbours who control the A/C just see no need to turn it on. Why turn it on? I'd rather sit on my couch naked and just sweat it out. Way more comfortable.
So anyways, I'm pretty fancy and I have a Teaopia Tea Master and a bunch of fancy loose leaf teas. I decided that the Mate Citrus Buzz sounded lovely and refreshing so I brewed up a pot of that using twice as much tea as I normally would and I also added a couple tablespoons of sugar in while it was brewing so it would dissolve better.
This is when I thought, "Oh yeah, ice." Great job, Mary. Looked in the freezer and out of 3 ice trays I had 4 ice cubes. Fantastic. I should also mention that I was making two glasses of iced tea. One for myself and one for my boyfriend, Steve. 2 cubes each. Which is what we use to just cool down our tea when we're drinking it hot. This is going really well. So I put those cubes in the glasses and then put those glasses in the freezer to chill them.

I wish.

The tea finished brewing and I foolishly poured it into the chilled glasses thinking that oughta cool it right down. Nope. Not even a little bit. The boiling tea blew through those ice cubes and chilled glasses before I was even done pouring it in there. So, I put those glasses of tea in the freezer and then proceeded to check them every 5 minutes for the next hour. I then stuck a freezie in each of them, left them for another 10 minutes, filled up my ice trays in this time, and then just gave up and drank it. It was pretty cold but...it was also 37 degrees outside.
Moral: Always fill your ice trays. Always.

A Gift for Chub Chub

So, tonight I was home, doing nothing and decided that my cats, Nikki and Chub Chub (Jack), needed a new toy and then I knitted up this little gem.

I did this in about an hour and a half while watching RuPaul's Drag Race (fantastic television).It was quite simple really. I cast on 20 stitches using 3 mm needles and then just knit until I had a square (which ended up being 37 rows). I'm planning on making another, smaller one more for Nikki because this one is the size of her head. However, Chub Chub is giant so it is just perfect for him. Anyways, back to the explanation; I took the square I had knitted and folded it into a triangle and stitched up one of the sides. So you have kind of a cone shape and then I just stuffed it with some fabric scraps and stitched up the rest of it. And the tail is actually just the excess yarn left at the end.
And I stitched on some eyes and a nose and, there you go, cats. You're welcome.

They both look really unimpressed in these pictures but, for the record, they were playing up a storm with this bad boy about 2 minutes later.

Something Truly Rude and Dainty

I found these recently and I want one (or many) desperately. Unfortunately, shipping is $40 to Canada which doubles the price of these wonderfully adorable necklaces. So, I suppose I'll just have to pick one up whenever I happen to be in NYC.

I love them because they combine rudeness and daintiness so beautifully together. Balls to the Wall is my personal favourite. But I also love Hot Mess and Sweet Tits. And all of them.
They're $40 from "In God We Trust". Some store in New York that I can only assume is very hip. And if you happen to be making a trip there soon and feel like picking one of these up for me, let me know. I will pay.

The Perks of Being a Hoarder

Now, hoarding has gotten a pretty bad rap in the past few years but frankly, as a mild hoarder myself, I'm starting to see the pros of keeping a bunch of shit lying around that you'll probably never use. (I also recently watched Grey Gardens. Some of the best hoarding I've ever seen! "This is the best outfit for the day!")
Anyways, I have actually gotten a lot better with my hoarding in recent years mostly due to moving around and not wanting to bring all the hoarded crap with me. But I do still hoard clothes like nobodies business. 'Cause you just never know when you're gonna wake up one day and suddenly love that Chester Fried Chicken shirt you inexplicably bought 6 years ago and have never worn.
Moving on, I found out recently that it's going to be an extremely hot summer here in T.O. I hate the heat. I really do. And I realized that I only own one pair of shorts and they really don't even go with very many things. So the race was on to find shorts before the heat hit. It was also particularly crucial that I find shorts quickly because I am going to be working in a bakery all summer and...shit's 'bout to get sweaty.

So I dug into my closet and found about 3 pairs of jeans that I'm pretty sure I've had since I was 16 and haven't worn since I was 18 and decided to get crafty. And 20 minutes later I had 2 new pairs of shorts for the summer. One longer pair for work so I don't somehow spill hot soup down my entire leg.
And a shorter pair for my days off when I want that little bit more thigh to see the sun. Because clearly, by the colour of my legs, you can tell I'm a real sun worshipper. Whatever guys, it's gonna be hot! Make yourself some cut offs stat!

Double Rainbow (Cookie Stuffed) Cupcakes

So I made some rainbow chip cupcakes stuffed with goddamn rainbow chips ahoy cookies. And there you have it, Double Rainbow cupcakes. But what does it mean?

It's so intense.

I don't know. But I'm gonna eat a lot of them. Partly because they're delicious. Mostly because I made them for no occasion and now my boyfriend and I have 20+ cupcakes on our hands. Time to get down and dirty...and eat ten cupcakes.
If you would like to make these yourself, it's really quite easy. Just make up some cake batter (I used a cake mix because I'm lazy and mostly because it was 99 cents! Killer deal.) and, using a muffin tin, pour enough batter in each cup to cover the bottom then plop a cookie in there and fill it up the rest of the way. I'm definitely going to experiment with cookie/cake combinations. It's all very exciting.
But I will not be baking a pie into a cake. Because that is just dumb.

The Laziest/Poorest Craft Blogger in all the Land

Hey guys! Just wanted to apologize to all my loyal readers (mom) for my slacking lately. Truth is, I'm straight up living in poverty over here. Not quite, but I'm too poor to spend any money on supplies I require for certain projects. So, I've been living the craftless life as of late. Which is just the worst kind of life. I don't know how people do it. But anyways, I've got my tax return coming in anyday now and then I'm living the high life. Buying Mod Podge and shit like it don't even matter.
No, I don't know why I'm talking so tough. But whatever. You do you, and I'll do me. That's a phrase I heard used by someone really cool at the mall the other day and I'm totally in love with it. And from now on, I'mma just do me.
This whole post has gotten very aggressive and I apologize. It's 11pm on a Wednesday and I'm going wild just eating brownies and watching Top Model and I guess I got a little out of hand. I'll reel it back in for the next post which will hopefully actually be about a project I've completed. And that concludes my long-winded, unnecessary explanation as to why I have been very inactive. Have a wonderful night! Peace!